everybody everybody everybody living now

blackberryvodka @ 2005-12-16T11:55:00

2005-12-16T17:02:36Z

i fucking hate this day every things been fucked up

i broke my cell phone screen so now i cant see anything on it

and im just pissed off

i get my paycheck today but not till the banks are closed that makes me really mad cause i cant go blow it on drugs

i need something right now cause being sober is just making me wanna kill ppl

i wish i had a girl to cuddle with that would make my problems go away

if i had a girl i wouldnt need drugs ne more but i would still do them for fun just wouldnt need them

cause right now i cant go over an hour without smoking cause of all the shit its been going down n i just dont wanna think about it

i want to either get away from here and start over or find someone soon cause if not im leaving jan 3rd

i want a gil that would care about me and wanna live with me

i cant sleep alone at night bad things happen

i just want some one to show me they really care ppl say they do but no one has proved it

blackberryvodka @ 2005-12-11T14:23:00

2005-12-11T07:25:18Z

i hope u dont mind i told nate you were a freak

i love shake that from eminem feat. nate dog

i have to many friends i feel bad i cant chill with um all all the time but i work n shit n need another job to

last day of school

2005-12-08T17:00:46Z

and my report is such crap im gonna fail lol i need to find a full time job

show last night

2005-12-03T20:10:50Z

was fucking awsome end of story check my myspace blog it tells about it met some cool new ppl

monday

2005-11-28T18:39:07Z

i looked at that camero its really nice just needs a bit of work on interior some nobs are missing but id put new head unit in anyway and the engine had lil bit smoke coming out that made me sad cause that car is beautiful and i want it but i dont like that smoke hopefully its cause it needs oil change im sendingmy mechanic to go look at it

black friday and no sleep

2005-11-25T16:22:46Z

i been shopping at 5am last 2 days and i havent slept im tired so im bout to go to sleep after i get myspace to work ts being gay i waited in line for 10 gift card to sears for first 200 ppl and some fag pushed me outta the line so i put his lights out and left before i could get introuble so im not going back to sears again um what else i want a car! my mom let me drive her truck home since i stole her keys and wouldnt unlock the door so that was fun thats all for now

what did i did i do to deserve all of this

2005-11-24T02:54:18Z

yeah i was trying to be nice and get joshes and my moms computers connected to the internet we'll while doing that my computer died tring to upload all the new shit so theres would work and my moms gonna yell at me cause my computer doesnt work and i dont wanna here it myspace and aim both arnt working right now and i need to talk to someone but cant get ahold of them this fucking suck tommarow i get to see kelly maybe that will cheer me up ive been in such a shity mood latly just everything is going down hill the only good thing is i got a job but they never even called me with my scedual so i gotta call them tomarow dam shit sucks so bad right now i want my car back i want my computer back i wanna get on myspace to leave some one a message and i wanna go on aim cause if there on it will be faster EVERYTHING IS GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY fuck adfasd;fljahlsfd;fasdljf dammit im mad i hate to be the next GUY to piss me off cause ill prob stab um or even worse im not kidding im fucking pissed right now

hmmm

2005-11-23T02:35:12Z

hey im dustin and i wanna kill myself to bad i have friends that would miss me but i just dont want to live anymore my life is fucking pissing me off and im done trying to be happy the only thing that would make me happy is to be dead cause then i wouldnt have to go thru this hell at least i get to see my best freind and spend time with her on thanksgiving since my family doesnt want me with them

yeah and im talking to ppl on aim and what there telling me just makes me feel worse how there so happy and all this and they just got this and that and they like so and so and blah all i get is yelled at by my mom

i need this job so i can get an appartment and save up and get away from everything

but knowing me i wont get hired but u know what thats just a little bit of what i hold in and dont tell ppl about me

and i can still put a smile on my face for everyone to see

not like if i even had a problem i would have anyone to talk to cause everyone abandoned me

so maybe i should just go to camden with a shirt that says i hate niggers and let one shoot me

fuck that im just gonna move so im leaving unless shit changes by my birthday if it doesnt good bye everyone

blackberryvodka @ 2005-11-22T10:51:00

2005-11-22T15:50:39Z

i have school n dentist today i want to get some perks but i dont wanna route canal to get them but i think ill deal n get the canal tho it will prob hurt my birthday is coming up soon schools ending im so far behind maybe i should pay attention today the only thing keeping me going is the few ppl i met on ms there being better friends then any one right now i think im gonna go shoot some ppl so ill finish this later

fucking lame

2005-11-22T06:17:25Z

yeah shits been fucking lame latly its like im not allowed to have problems when ever some one calls me and has a problem i stop everything to talk to them about it when ever i have a problem and call someone they are always like im busy ill talk to you later and hangs up before i can say its important so from this day on i dont have any problems and im perfectly happy

thank god for my new friends i met casue there being better friends right now then the ones i had its like casue i dont have a car they forgot about me i mean i have legs i can walk to see them and i would in a heart beat but they dont even ask

IM FUCKING HAPPY so fuck it ill deal

blackberryvodka @ 2005-11-17T07:55:00

2005-11-17T12:51:52Z

as i lay dying dec 2nd at the troc cant fucking wait

i need my hair cut who want to do it?

bedtimetiredsottylbye.

blackberryvodka @ 2005-11-15T11:21:00

2005-11-15T16:16:24Z

school today lame

truck working nmaybe thatd b cool
that things got pick up lol cause its a pick up truck

alright shower

later

last night

2005-11-13T23:39:37Z

last night was interesting

i dont like girls that are confusing

i didnt understand alot of what happened last night

y cant i just fast forward my life to having a house and being married with a decent job

good mood for once

2005-11-13T04:44:36Z

tiffs over and were having fun i think?
lol

tell u bout rest later

josh is gonna be gone

2005-11-11T07:39:57Z

josh went to a party it got busted hes in police station and when his real parents find out there gonna send him to a ranch somewhere and im gonna have cops watching my house for a while now wich fucking sucks

what a bad way to end a night bout to go finish this

blackberryvodka @ 2005-11-10T00:52:00

2005-11-10T05:48:48Z

hmm every day goes by there is a new twist coming into play its fucking nuts i had the longest phone conversation of the year with brittany today well it was morgan half the time to but we talked forever like 2 hours in 2 dif calls and there gonna meet me at the mall tommarow i have 2 interviews 3:30pac sun 6:30 regal at mtown mall

girls need to not be so fucking complicated there for im going to bed and not worring about them an the way they fuck with ppls heads

blackberryvodka @ 2005-11-09T06:29:00

2005-11-09T11:26:23Z

I WANT A GIRL THAT:
has good taste in music
that will care about me as much as i do her
that likes going to shows
can sleep over once and a while
is 16 or older

hmm bout to fall back asleep finish later

i like a few ppl now
just waiting for one to care about me back

being lonly sucks and puts me in a bad mood

im sick of being alone

blah mood

2005-11-09T11:15:11Z

i dont even know whats going on anymore

things are going weir with the girl i like she almost didnt want to hang out with me cause of what might happen she was saying she was afraid to fall in love with me cause she doesnt wanna date anyone

so yeah

then other ppl i liked in the past still havent changed anything

well when december comes if i dont have a reason to stay im gonna be gone

i just want to be in a realtionship thats gonna last i want some one to care about me in that more then a friend wy and i want someone to care about to and to cuddle with at night

i miss cuddling

I LOVE TO, HATE, BUT I DONT CARE ANYMORE

http://whatego.com/ref.php?id=15411

best site ever cause its not myspace and u get to upload more pictures

boo

2005-11-07T07:11:57Z

things didnt go as planned i didnt get to see her tonight

so im chilling here bored and lonly

i found a few plants today and im gonna get um hopefully

i want things to work out

we'll do some drugs we'll fall in love we'll get fucked up

blackberryvodka @ 2005-11-05T04:42:00

2005-11-05T12:46:13Z

now*

well its about 8am and ive been up all night thinking about this girl that has come in my life and shes like the female version of me i just hope i dont get hurt ill know after sunday cause thats when im hanging out with her

I CANT WAIT

this is the happiest ive been in a while and monday JOB INTERVIEW

my lifes finnaly turning around but out of all things i ask for a chance with this girl and for it to last

and i cant stop listening to hollywood undead
there good a hell

blackberryvodka @ 2005-11-05T03:28:00

2005-11-05T08:29:34Z

i found a girl thats just like me and thats awsome

no i wonder how she feels about me

fuck you

2005-11-03T04:18:11Z

hmm i dont know whats going on anymore ive been sober for half a week now and its been great untill tonight alot of ppl told me things i didnt want to hear

well i heard it

and i dont know whats going on

i just want my car fixed

and get rid of my gay licence for the real one

then i can get out of here

im setting something up for moving to georgia

unless things get better

im in the worst mood right now i have been in for a while

and aslo i think its fucked up when ppl say they will do shit with u and then ignore you

halloween

2005-11-01T16:46:00Z

halloween started out really bad half way around the first development i lost my cell phone and there so much shit on that phone that i could have been fucked cause i already stoped at a cops house to ask for candy and i was hoping i didnt lose it there cause i would be locked up mostlikly for quite some time

but me and josh went to 2 developments no hot chicks came to the door there were only 2 chicks our age to even go to the door

me and josh ended up with like 500 pieces of candy between us

i got in a fight online with one of my friends and that made my night not as good

but whatever shes being dumb and gonna date some guy thats gonna hurt her i tryed to talk to her about it

how do u ask some one for advice then yell at them when theygive it?

ny cars down hopefully it will be fixed soon and be running perfectly again casue that would be awsome cause i wanna go on a road trip and dont have the money for a new car

LOOK INTO MY BRAND NEW eye - eyeless slipknot when they where good

my tooth is loose and hurts

but i did get hit hard in the mouth so that would be why

i need to do my wash im running out of clean clothing

and i really need a job

cause i sorta want a girlfriend

but i need a job to have a girlfriend cause that way we can do things

heres what i want in a girl

good taste in music
does well in school
smokes pot
cool hiar
great personality
shes gotta be chill so i can bring her around my friends
16 or older 17 would be the best
plus would be if she had a car and her licence so when my car doesnt work we can still see each other
shes gotta be aloud to sleep over once and a while
if her ears were gauged that would be awsome

hmm thas what i have so far

i dont know anyone that would fit into that tho

hm fuck that i just want some one that will care about me as much as i care about them

and since im gonna have a job before i date anyone i would like who i date to have a job cause my next relationship i want to be my last

and thats why im gonna be picky about who i date

blah i got school so i gotta go

holloween

2005-10-31T05:46:42Z

dakota borowed nikkis moms car and nikki me dakota and josh when to pa and it was an awsome trip

mad partys this weekend good stuff

i wish i had some one special to share holloween with but i dont so im just gonna spend it with my friends

i dont feel like typing its starting to sober me up

blackberryvodka @ 2005-10-27T02:45:00

2005-10-27T06:55:57Z

fuck off

i fucking hate my dad

he tryed to kill me tonight

but i didnt fight back i just sat there

now im coffing up blood and it sucks

i think my cars on the verge of death again

IO offered me 1000$ cash for my car i may take him up on that

gonna talk to my mom about that one

have u even been slammed onto nails they hurt

fucking dads a douchebag

but im the better person cause i didnt hit him back

but i almost died tonight wich sucks

it took josh and my mom 45 min to wake up to him punching me and shit

he swung at my head as hard as he could and i dodged it and he put a whole in the wall next to my head

he landed 2 hits on my face

one in my mouth (why im coffing up blood)

few body shots

but i had enough anger in me i couldnt feel any of it

now i do tho so it sucks cause im sore

hes lucky cause if i had it my way i would walk in his room right now and slit his throat

he doesnt deserve to live and my whole life he has vowled to kill me on my 18th birthday

well guess what thats only weeks away now

so after december 5th and u dont hear from me

its not cause im dead

its cause im in jail for murder

cause if hes gonna try and kill me

im just gonna snap his neck like a glow stick

im not playing around hes threating my life

when my mom and josh came out hes like go the fuck away and they didnt do anything just stood there as he was standing on my chest swinging at me

i want a girl that will treat me good cause all my life ive been treated like shit and im sick of it

anyone ive ever dated has just given up or never cared to ask me whats wrong its always do this this this and this for me and never does shit for me in return

well im sick of that i want a 50 50 relationship with some one

and i am gonna try and save up money cause i need to move and start my life over where nobody knows me

i wish i had some place i could stay cause i dont wanna stay here with drunk assholes

and im just so fucking pissed of im getting upset and i just want some one to talk to but theres no one to talk to right now and im about to have a fucking break down and k im 2 mad to type right now ill type later cause theres alot more bullshit then that